9 am - Innocent faces, bright expectant eyes, proud owners of new school bags and bottles (with their favourite cartoon characters); walking with moms, looking forward to the first day at school.
9.30 am - Heart rending cries; some children on the floor, some banging the classroom door to get out - inconsolable, heartbroken, feeling intense pain of separation from the loving warm mum they feel one with.
Do the first steps have to be so painful?
Why can't the change be gradual, children engaged in outdoor play or indoor games - slowly getting used to the increase in separation time. How long will it take—2-3 weeks?
Why can't that time be taken out to secure a child's trust and settle him/ her in the new surroundings?
Why do we let them cry so till they get tired of it and realise it is futile — as mom will not come till their time at school is up.
Is it just because we know they are dependent, powerless in the world of adults and this is 'best' for them or that the school knows 'best'?
Feeling all this intensely and knowing in my heart that there should be another way - would I still let my child cry and cry and then get used to the school - interestingly playschool - or will I pull him out , hold him close to me and apologise and take him home?
What is it that stops me from doing this...Is it a feeling that he will settle down eventually or knowing that all the fees have been paid at the time of admission or some sort of deep fear of failure to be able to provide the kind of stimuli a school can - I do not know!
And as I go along ironing clothes for the next day at playschool- preparing my child to know that I am in his heart, I am always with him, I will be at the reception waiting for him - asking him to enjoy himself, wish his teachers, play, paint etc, etc....
And at the reception I sit, hear him cry for me - heartbroken, almost in tears myself, feeling as helpless - that maybe I haven't prepared him well enough.....
Sentimental, crazy, over sensitive- you can call me. Maybe I am all of these.
But that is because I care, because I love children - not just my own. With each child moving on from loud protests and crying to silent voiceless sobs- I wonder what we (adults) have done to his/ her soul.
Can there be another way......?
9.30 am - Heart rending cries; some children on the floor, some banging the classroom door to get out - inconsolable, heartbroken, feeling intense pain of separation from the loving warm mum they feel one with.
Do the first steps have to be so painful?
Why can't the change be gradual, children engaged in outdoor play or indoor games - slowly getting used to the increase in separation time. How long will it take—2-3 weeks?
Why can't that time be taken out to secure a child's trust and settle him/ her in the new surroundings?
Why do we let them cry so till they get tired of it and realise it is futile — as mom will not come till their time at school is up.
Is it just because we know they are dependent, powerless in the world of adults and this is 'best' for them or that the school knows 'best'?
Feeling all this intensely and knowing in my heart that there should be another way - would I still let my child cry and cry and then get used to the school - interestingly playschool - or will I pull him out , hold him close to me and apologise and take him home?
What is it that stops me from doing this...Is it a feeling that he will settle down eventually or knowing that all the fees have been paid at the time of admission or some sort of deep fear of failure to be able to provide the kind of stimuli a school can - I do not know!
And as I go along ironing clothes for the next day at playschool- preparing my child to know that I am in his heart, I am always with him, I will be at the reception waiting for him - asking him to enjoy himself, wish his teachers, play, paint etc, etc....
And at the reception I sit, hear him cry for me - heartbroken, almost in tears myself, feeling as helpless - that maybe I haven't prepared him well enough.....
Sentimental, crazy, over sensitive- you can call me. Maybe I am all of these.
But that is because I care, because I love children - not just my own. With each child moving on from loud protests and crying to silent voiceless sobs- I wonder what we (adults) have done to his/ her soul.
Can there be another way......?
- Seema Wahi Mukherjee
